How to Become a Mentor

WHAT MAKES A GOOD MENTOR?

Many people feel that being a mentor requires special skills, but mentors are simply people who have the qualities of good role models.

Mentors listen	They maintain eye contact and give mentees their full attention.
Mentors guide	Mentors are there to help their mentees find life direction, never to push them.
Mentors are practical	They give insights about keeping on task and setting goals and priorities.
Mentors educate	Mentors educate about life and their own careers.
Mentors provide insight	Mentors use their personal experience to help their mentees avoid mistakes and learn from good decisions.
Mentors are accessible	Mentors are available as a resource and a sounding board.
Mentors criticize constructively	When necessary, mentors point out areas that need improvement, always focusing on the mentee’s behavior, never his/her character.
Mentors are supportive	No matter how painful the mentee’s experience, mentors continue to encourage them to learn and improve.
Mentors are specific	Mentors give specific advice on what was done well or could be corrected, what was achieved and the benefits of various actions.
Mentors care	Mentors care about their mentees’ progress in school and career planning, as well as their personal development.
Mentors succeed	Mentors not only are successful themselves, but they also foster success in others.
Mentors are admirable	Mentors are usually well respected in their organizations and in the community.

 

What does a mentor do?

A mentor provides support to a young person who can benefit from the guidance, friendship and life experience of the mentor. Mentoring allows the individuals involved to share experiences and learn from them while building a supportive relationship over time. In the TEAM TUSKERS Mentoring Program, our focus will be on youth in our intermediate and middle schools whose lives can be enriched through the guidance of an older, more experienced person.

How does mentoring help?

In addition to making children more confident in their schoolwork and more trusting of their parents or guardians, mentoring makes students:

52% less likely to skip school;

46% less likely to begin using illegal drugs;

37% less likely to skip a class;

27% less likely to begin using alcohol; and

33% less likely to hit someone.

Who can participate?

This opportunity is available to all residents who have an interest in improving the lives of our youth and who successfully fill out a questionnaire, complete a screening, pass an FBI background check and finger printing, and attend all training sessions. Mentors must be available weekly throughout the school year for one hour each week.

How do I participate?

The first step is to fill out a brief mentor application. Applications can be downloaded from our website: www.somersschools.org/teamtuskers. Following acceptance as a mentor, mentors will go through a training session(s). We work with the school to match each mentor with a student, depending on time availability. TEAM Tuskers will provide ongoing programs to support you in this important role. All mentoring will take place at the Somers Intermediate School and the Somers Middle School. This can be a very rewarding relationship for both the mentor and mentee, but it requires commitment and consistency to be successful. I hope you will join me in accepting the challenge to make a difference.

Please contact us at: teamtuskersmentoring@gmail.com or 914-481-2716

Qualities of Successful Mentors

Personal commitment to be involved with another person for an extended time — generally, the school year. Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of other people’s lives, to help them with tough decisions and to see them become the best they can be. They have to be invested in the mentoring relationship over the long haul to be there long enough to make a difference.

Respect for individuals and for their abilities and their right to make their own choices in life. Mentors should not approach the mentee with the attitude that their own ways are better or that participants need to be rescued. Mentors who convey a sense of respect and equal dignity in the relationship win the trust of their mentees and the privilege of being advisors to them.

Ability to listen and to accept different points of view. Most people can find someone who will give advice or express opinions. It’s much harder to find someone who will suspend his or her own judgment and really listen. Mentors often help simply by listening, asking thoughtful questions and giving mentees an opportunity to explore their
own thoughts with a minimum of interference. When people feel accepted, they are more likely to ask for and respond to good ideas.

Ability to empathize with another person’s struggles. Effective mentors can feel with people without feeling pity for them. Even without having had the same life experiences, they can empathize with their mentee’s feelings and personal problems.

Ability to see solutions and opportunities as well as barriers. Effective mentors balance a realistic respect for the real and serious problems faced by their mentees with optimism about finding equally realistic solutions. They are able to make sense of a seeming jumble of issues and point out sensible alternatives.

Flexibility and openness. Effective mentors recognize that relationships take time to develop and that communication is a two-way street. They are willing to take time to get to know their mentees, to learn new things that are important to their mentees (music, styles, philosophies, etc.), and even to be changed by their relationship.

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Getting Started

The beginning of any new relationship can be awkward. We don’t know what to expect, although we certainly have expectations or a set of preconceived notions. We have ideas about the other person, either from stereotypes or from things that we’ve heard about people with similar circumstances, or we have ideas from our own experiences about how relationships work.

As you are preparing to enter the mentor/mentee relationship, you will probably be both apprehensive and excited about the adventure to follow. Here are some things to keep in mind as you begin your journey.

1. You will both be nervous. You will each feel as though you are expected to perform in a particular way or to achieve a particular goal or set of goals. You are each likely to feel as though you are a title, mentor or mentee, rather than a person. You will also be wondering what the other person expects from you.
    
2. You are both valuable to the relationship. Although it is true that both participants will be working to help the mentee reach his or her goal, the mentee and the mentor are on equal footing within the relationship. Together, you have a much wider perspective and a greater set of resources with which to work than either of you had on your own.
    
3. You do not yet trust each other. Trust comes from a sense of comfort with another person, and comfort comes from repeated experience. Trust is developed over time, once we have a good idea of who the other person is, what he or she values, how he or she responds in particular situations and how he or she feels about us.
    
4. Keep a positive outlook. This relationship is new for both of you. There will be all kinds of new experiences that arise because you are in this new relationship. If you look for the positive aspects of situations as they occur, you will keep yourself and your partner moving forward.

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